Daily Archives: June 4, 2013

Living as a non-social being in a social world can be very uncomfortable–and frustrating. My name is Colleen and I am a Cave Dweller. 

What?!?

What is a Cave Dweller? I define myself as a person who is caring, giving, loving, open, kind, and generous but who does not view being social as a just-for-fun activity or a contact sport. It’s as simple as that. I am an introvert, which does not mean that I am shy or socially inept. It simply means that given the opportunity to get out of the house to go a movie with a group of people, 9.75 times out of 10, I will choose to stay home. In my sweats. With a good book. It also means that I don’t mind being alone, eating alone, or living alone–even within the structure of a relationship.

I don’t like to get dressed up and go out. I don’t like to shop in malls or outlet stores. I have to psyche myself up to go to the grocery store and even after changing out of my sweats and into my jeans (and one of six brown t-shirts), it is incredibly easy for me to talk myself out of actually getting into my car and pulling out of the garage–unless I need coffee or coffee creamer or coffee filters. In that case, I’m willing to brave the waving neighbors and the friendly clerk so that I can buy my supplies and hurry back to my cave. 

Cave Dwellers on the Internet

I am a homebody at heart–even on the internet. I’m happy just to hang around my old familiar browser, haunt my favorite websites, check out movies and my horoscope and email my family and friends. Everywhere I turn, I see invitations/demands to like me, tweet me, post a comment, be my friend when all I really want to do is read and play and laugh at funny videos without the pressure of having to be social or share my online experience.

Does this sound familiar?  Are you a Cave Dweller, too?

• Do you feel like you don’t fit in at gatherings?
• Do you find yourself alone in your own thoughts in the middle of a crowd?
• Do you surf the internet, read blogs, or visit social gaming sites but never post?
• When forced to leave the house, do you find yourself anxious to just get home so you can get into your favorite sweats and shake off the social-interaction requirements of the day?

Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to click on anything or actually answer these questions but I think we might have a lot in common. In fact, I believe that there are many, many people out there just like me for whom cave dwelling is perfectly fine as a way of life. And it is for those people like me that I’d like to create a no-pressure zone, a place where Cave Dwellers can gather and point to things of interest. Funny things. Geeky things. (Although not all Cave Dwellers are geeks and not all geeks are Cave Dwellers.) This is NOT a site for explicit adult material or rude behavior. It is my intention to create a safe zone free of pressure to be liked, where anyone and everyone who feels like they are “other” can find a place to just be. So, take a breath, feel free not to comment, and come back often. I’ll be here, snug in my cave.

Next post: The challenge of finding success from inside the cave. (Yikes)