Life changes. The days may seem to plod along, one after the other, in a monotonous reverie of sameness, but in the background, just past where your eyes and ears and heart can sense movement, the earth is shifting on its axis and change occurs.
I believe that we are the creators of our universe; I believe that each choice we make takes us closer–or farther away–from where we want to be; I believe that holding our intentions and our vibrations is the way our lives, thoughts, and feelings change. But I also believe that there are greater plans afoot than ours, plans created through intent and purpose that is grander than our minds can comprehend, plans that creep in on tiptoe to catch us by surprise.
Savannah called me home several months ago. A short visit with family turned into weeks and then months of making friends, finding gratitude, and becoming immersed in the healing of sound and light. I found that I could breathe and think again surrounded by family–despite the heat and the mugginess and the humid frizz. I found that I could let go of those little pieces of me that felt dry and withered and allow new growth. And with that growth came new and more opportunities to let go of old patterns and behaviors and old anchors and thoughts and feelings that no longer apply to me. I stepped out of the cave that was me in another phase of my life and into the current of another phase of me, into a life that matters to me.
I feel as though I’ve been standing on a precipice of understanding, perched precariously on a crumbling outcrop of false security and feigned love. I’ve been hanging on tightly to a dream and an idea that is based in hope and fantasy. I’ve been seeing myself through someone else’s eyes, taking my cues from a distorted sense of responsibility that is not my own. As I’ve allowed my days to plod, one after the other, in monotony, taking little responsibility for where I’m headed, I’ve forgotten how to love myself for who I truly am.
So, today, I choose to set aside all expectation. I choose to be the power that I have become. Today, I choose to love myself for me and me alone and know that I AM.
And that’s enough for me.